god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
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