I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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