he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
