The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
