Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
