Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
its liver damage thursday
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
