then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
what is it with giant penises always finding me
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
