I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
