We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
