i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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