i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
