dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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