Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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