We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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