let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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