so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
