i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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