i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize