At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
