He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
My life is pants optional.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
