I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
