I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
