I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize