I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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