I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
