I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize