Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I did not marry a roomba.
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