i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
