Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
