I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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