i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
