your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize