Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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