I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
