haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
