she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
