It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
