I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Someone came in the potted fern
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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