Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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