I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
