I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
