My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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