I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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