Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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