Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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