My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
