school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
