Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
