do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
