God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
