I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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