So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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