Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
How many fucks given?
0.12846
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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