Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
