Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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