i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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