The Swedes wanted a tensome.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
