I think I am morally bankrupt
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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