I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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