Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
